BOOZE'S TOP TEN LIST
Top Ten Reasons Why
Booze Appears Overweight

I was appalled to see those distorted Myrtle Beach photos and blasphemous comments regarding Booze’s weight.  Obviously time, food and alcohol have added a few pounds to that titan frame, but I think that he is in incredible shape for a Superhog (meaning that he’s in incredible shape for the shape he’s in). 

Here are the top ten reasons why Booze appears to be overweight:

10. The Webmaster has grossly manipulated the digital photos.

 
Digitally Altered Booze vs. Actual Titan Frame

9. He was temporarily addicted to Areno bologna hoagies.

Addicted to Bologna

8. He was possessed by the spirit of Dan McDade.

The Spirit of McDade

7. He was over hydrated with too much tonic water and extremely bloated.

Too Much Tonic

6. He was trying to blend in with the other Heavy Hogs.

Booze Blending In

5. He switched from Hog boxers to Hog speedos.

Hog Speedos

4. He thought that drinking 6 packs created 6 pack abs.

Booze Working On His 6-Pack Abs

3. He was surrounded by so many top-notch athletes, he looked fat by comparison.

Nothing But Top-Notch Athletes
 

2. He had to extend his belly to hold all those dollar bills.

Dollar Bill Booze

And the number 1 reason why Booze appears heavier:

1. He thought that Johnnie Walker Red was a new Slim Fast flavor.

 
New Slim Fast Flavor

P.S.  His mansauce is still sizzling.

Sizzling Mansauce