Quack Likes It in the Crack
Leave it to Doc Quack and his band of Liberal Left Wing cocksuckers to bribe one of their kindred spirits like Heywood Eublowme to make up this ridiculous accusation of my service to my country. Anyone who has done five seconds of research about these accusations would know that I never set foot in the Hawaiian Islands, there are no PFC’s in the Navy, and Doc Quack has ghosts in his own rectum. This Liberal Left Wing mudslinging will only serve to expose this Quack and the lies he tries to perpetrate on others. The man has stooped lower than the Bush campaign trying to attack heroes like myself and John Kerry.
Doc Stooped Lower Than Bush Campaign
Heroes Macos & Kerry
A fellow veteran John McCain summed it up best by saying “These tactics by Doc Quack are shameless & despicable acts that dishonor veterans like Senator Kerry and Mr. Macos.”
Shameless & Despicable
Let the truth be told, I have done a little research myself on this Mr. Heywood Eublowme. It turns out his real name is Ben Dover.
Real Name: Ben Dover
He and Doc Quack first met while they were Cabana Boys at San Francisco’s bath houses during the seventies where they were called the Heywood twins.
Cabana Boys at Bathhouse
Dover’s bitch moniker was Heywood Eublowme and Doc Quack’s was Heywood Euboneme.
Heywood Eublowme & Heywood Euboneme
Dover had recently been discharged from the Navy where he had been a seaman, not a PFC as anyone who knows anything about the military ranks could tell you.
Seaman
PFC
It turns out that the Doc acquired a taste for a Seaman’s semen.
Acquired Taste
After they closed the bath houses Doc Quack got married in an attempt to hide his dual life. He and Heywood have been seen periodically in each other's company shopping for antiques, watching Will & Grace reruns and going to Cher concerts in drag.
Common Connections
More recently they have been linked to a splinter group of the PLO. This group of gay, left-wing radical fundamentalists called the Fudge Packing Liberation Organization or FPLO has ties to all major terrorist organizations.
Fudge Packing Liberation Organization
Both Heywood Eublowme and Doc Quack have been seen on Al-Jazeera doing a little beheading of their own.
Beheadings on Al-Jazeera
Rumors regarding the sexual orientation of most leftist terrorist leaders were recently confirmed by the Weekly World News.
Shocking News of Gay Leftist Terrorists
Exclusive photos of the wedding between Saddam and Osama revealed our friends were in attendance at this secluded wedding just prior to the US invasion.
Cabana Boy Bitches at Saddam & Osama’s Wedding
Anyone can make up stories, but a picture tells a thousand words. I am eager to see if the Doctor can explain his way out of this one. If he is smart, he will just shut his big yap and go away. For it is abundantly clear that, “The Quack likes it in the Crack.”
