Myrtle Beach, Friday September 26, 2003

Macos Plays Bitch to Golfer's Wives

There was absolutely no buzz about the absence of Macos until the power at the Ocean Dunes went out. Given his shameless display of Homoid activity last year, most HOG's were openly grateful that they did not need to carry rear view mirrors to avoid becoming the unsuspecting bitch of the vaunted Neo-Nazi Amp Scamp.

Neo-Nazi Amp Scamp Not Missed

However, that did not mean that the long arm of Macos did not reach our golden isle.  As a reminder that all are in thrall to the Power Industry, it appears Macos was able to arrange an outage (of the power sort for a change) that threw many Hogs into total panic.  With power out for a number of hours, beer began to get warm and ice, a veritable condiment for any HOG fest, was in short supply.

Due to what this reporter can only describe as a miraculous intervention, brought about by the supreme evangelical efforts of one Booze Crowly and his magic HOG shorts, electricity in South Carolina, was returned within hours.  Much rejoicing was heard as beer once again became cold and the clinking of ice cube-laden glasses could be heard up and down the ground floor of Hogville, SC.

Evangelical Magic Hog Shorts

Unlike our unfortunate relatives in Southeastern PA who were without the benefits of electricity for many days if not weeks, the Hog's gave thanks, led by pastor Booze, well into the evening Friday and Saturday.  While no one gave voice to it, the outage was undoubtedly an ominous demonstration by Macos and the power hungry blackguards at Peco for whom he shills.

Finally, it was revealed that while the Hogs huddled in the forbidding darkness, the Prince (or should that be Princess) of Light was getting down with his girlfriends for an evening of Brie, chardonnay, grilled everything and gossip.  That's right, Macos Played Bitch to the Golfers Wives rather than play golf with the Hogs.  I am thankful not to have been a fly on that wall.

Cooks For the Girls
Rather Than Play Golf With the Guys

R. DeCoux, Reporter at Large, The Hogrock Cafe Times