From The Left
by Dr. DOOGIE M.D.*
*Disclaimer - Actually written by Hog Rock
 

Dr. Doogie

The Iraq Debacle
Seven Lessons in History

As I sit around my heated pool sipping my French chardonnay, I feel compelled to opine on the foolishness of George W. Bush’s great Iraq folly.  One would think that Dubya and all his adoring right-winged flag wavers would have learned history’s lessons.  Unfortunately, the man who may well be the dumbest President we have ever had is now fixated on proving his mental limitations to the entire world.  Permit me to explain the lessons of history that our hapless President missed while drinking his way through college. 

Dumbest President Ever?

History Lesson 1 – Vietnam

When will right-wing America ever realize that we can’t conquer foreign countries anymore?  The days of imperialism are gone!   One only has to look at our recent past to see the wreckage that was brought on our nation by entering into that famous quagmire, Vietnam.  Nine long years of attempted occupation lead to the deaths of over 58,000 young Americans and over one million Vietnamese.  All that we left behind was a scorched earth that only now is starting to recover.  We will find a similar fate in Iraq.  Our puppet government will fail just as the governments of Diem and Thieu failed. The great leader Ho Chi Min ultimately prevailed in spite of all our weaponry and our savage attacks on innocent civilians.  So it will be with Saddam Hussein. 

Great Leaders Who Prevailed

History Lesson #2 – “War!  What is it good for?” (Edwin Starr – Motown Records 1970)

Dubya’s whole pretext for this war was the elimination of those dreaded Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Well, in the carnage that has been wrought by this war, what has our great president come up with?   “Absolutely nothing!  Say it again!”  Saddam told our president and the United Nations over and over again that what meager weapons he still had were destroyed as was agreed in 1991.  What is Saddam’s reward for this selfless act?  Sanctions that have left a whole generation of Iraqi children weak and malnourished.

Another Victim of Dubya

I’ve always said the mark of a great leader is one who has the compassion to allow young children to get sick and die a slow death.  Should they reach maturity they then are so filled with hate they only want to blow themselves up.

History Lesson #3 – The United States Civil War

Saddam has been accused of being ruthless and cruel because he has tried to put down insurrections.  If that is the case, why don’t we go down to the Lincoln Memorial, throw a large chain around Lincoln’s neck, and pull his statue down with a tank?

Down Goes Lincoln

Is the crushing of the Kurdish uprising any different than the North crushing the South?  And what was the great crime that was committed?  Gassing a few Kurds!  As a medically trained healer, I have been forced to treat Kurds.  Let me tell you a few things about these wretched goat herders.  They deserve to be gassed!  They are a filthy people who smell so bad they should be called Turds!  I have always said, the only difference between a Kurd and a Turd is that you can’t flush a stinking Kurd down the toilet.

Unflushable Kurds

History Lesson #4 – The Crusades

Of all the lessons one could learn, the right-wing bible huggers have yet to come to grips with the fact that not everyone wants to be baptized.  But not Dubya the Great!  He wants to go one step further.  He has called this war a crusade and wants to take the whole Middle East and convert them.

Dubya The Baptist

Let’s see if we can piss off every Arab and Muslim country in the world by attacking the only Arab leader who is considered somewhat secular.  Let’s see if we can turn two billion people into terrorist bombers.  I know when I vacation in Bali I can’t wait to get blown up. 

Blown Up In Bali?

The only Republican Guards that I worry about are hunkered down at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Republican Guard Headquarters

History Lesson #5 – The McCarthy Hearings

We are in the midst of repeating one of the greatest documented travesties.  The return of The New McCarthyites or The O’Reillyites as I prefer to call them!

Right-Wing Hollywood Bashers

You see them as flag-waving talking heads on Fox News.  Right wing extremists who see bogeymen in the bushes.  Who do they choose to attack?  Anyone who voices any sounds of disagreement or concern!  First on their list are those in Hollywood who attempt to speak for those too scared to open their mouths for fear of retribution.  The latest victims are entertainers like Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon who were blackballed from the Baseball Hall of Fame for the shameful act of disagreeing with Dubya the Great for going to a war as a pretext for a big oil grab.

O'Reillyite Victims

I’m sorry if the hypocrisy of the situation doesn’t make me boil.  Saddam was vilified for making an oil grab when he was only trying to get back his ancestral lands in Kuwait.  If he had a billion dollar contract with Halliburton and Dick Cheney, we would have been shipping him aid instead of attacking him in 1991.

The Real Oil Grabber

History Lesson #6 – The League of Nations

Dubya’s unilateral attack on Iraq while thumbing his nose at the United Nations and our two closest allies France and Germany is setting World War III in motion.  Just like the United States’ failure to join the League of Nations after World War I led to World War II, this action has rendered the single most effective world governing body useless.  I fear an axis of France, Germany and Russia will present a much greater threat then the likes of Saddam.  Far worse, I fear I will lose my ability to import my French wines.

No More French Wine?

History Lesson #7 – Granada

The attack on Iraq is more shameful than Reagan’s trumped up Granada Invasion to save a couple of students from a food fight on the beach. 

Broke Up Food Fight
In Granada

What has Saddam done that makes him such a threat to the United States?  I personally do not consider building his nation into a cornerstone of Arab strength and dignity an affront to our country.  Is he not a good father trying to teach his sons the demands of being a benevolent dictator?  Is he any different than George Bush Sr. teaching Jeb and Dubya the ropes?  Sure he spoils them with a few of life’s carnal pleasures.  I only wish my father was so generous. 

Just Trying To Be A Good Father Figure

Should a man who has worked as hard as Saddam not be entitled to a few amenities for himself?  I should hope not!  If building a few palaces, enjoying the pleasures of life and erecting a few statues of oneself are precursors to war, I am afraid our government will be coming after me next.

I'm forced to agree with Senator John Kerry.  What we really need is a regime change in Washington, not Baghdad.   

Demands Regime Change
In Washington, Not Baghdad

From the Left
Dr. Doogie – M.D.