Webmaster,

It is with reluctance that I question your editing of Hogrock Cafe. My medical opinion on Hoggeritis was both well researched and definitive. I was surprised to see the worthless opinions of non-medical hogs published in this fine journal. I am sure that Dick DeDick is a nice fellow but what can he possibly know about clinical medicine? The same is true of Binky, Phil My Crack and that Swan dude. I would never pontificate out of my field. 

     
All Medical Hacks, Not Medical Quacks

Do I tell Macos how to change a light bulb?

Can Change a Light Bulb

Do I tell you how to whip up a bunch of strap?

Can Whip Strap

Do I presume to tell Johnny Rugh how to peddle worthless gadgets? 

Can Peddle Worthless Gadgets

Do I tell Booze how to wear a garter belt and spiked heals?

Can Wear a Garter Belt

Have you heard me instruct Dirt in the art of selling rot gut liquor, or Otto in the art of drinking it? 

Rot Gut Liquor Connoisseurs

I never lecture Sly on his methods of destroying honorable businesses or ruining the life of their hard working employees. Do I tell him how to sell out to those little sneak-attacking rice eaters?

Sells Honorable Businesses
To Sneak-Attacking Rice Eaters

Let us allow only those with knowledge presume to instruct the rest of us. I repeat, Hoggeritis is no disease but a Macosian hoax designed to curry sympathy for lethargic hobos. In the words of one of our time's greatest philosophers, Douglas C. Neidermeyer, "you're all worthless and weak”.

Douglas C. Neidermeyer
Sergeant at Arms

That is all