BOOZE'S TOP TEN LIST
Reason To Attend The Grand Reopening

By Spirits Correspondent Booze

10. Due to memory loss, I forgot if I attended the Grand Opening.

9. See if any wife can come up with a better nickname than Mrs. Pube or Mrs. Eat a Beaver.

Mrs. Pube & Mrs. Eat a Beaver

8. See how many breasts Zip can grab.

7. Watch the re-enactment of the Franco-Jones bowling contest.

 
Bowling Contestants

6. See how much bigger the Hogs have gotten in just two years.

       
Hogs Getting Bigger Every Year

5. See if Fitzer and Yvonne can attend a hogger without at least one of them breaking something.

 
Fitzer Vandals

4. Take turns with Dennis James defiling the roasted pig.

 
Dennis Injecting Some Sausage Stuffing

3. Watch Mean Mr. Macos and Doogie go at it.

Mean Mr. Macos vs. Doogie

2. Watch George and Woo recreate the lude-toss contest, only now toss Tums.

Tums Tossers

And the number one reason to attend the Grand Reopening of the Hog Rock Café:

1.   To see if anyone can be a bigger asshole than Stopper.

The Asshole Standard to Beat