Farewell To The Gipper

Jethro Bodine

Alzheimer’s turned the Great Communicator into Jethro Bodine. Before his final dissent into darkness he gave his final interview to legendary Hog Rock reporter Doogie. What follows is the text of that 2003 interview. As you will see, after 10 years of the cruel disease Reagan still had periods of lucidity.

  
Hog Rock Reporter
         Doogie

Doogie: What are your thoughts of the following people?

  The Gipper

The Gipper:

George W. Bush: I never thought that any of Bush’s kids would amount to anything let alone the dumb one.

 
The Dumb One

Madeline Albright: I loved her as Aunt Bee.

 
       Madeline Albright

Condoleezza Rice: I am a big fan of her work with Martha and the Vandellas.

            Condoleezza Rice

Colin Powell: A good judge regardless of the Anita Hill mess.

  Colin Powell

Jimmy Carter: I was surprised he got busted with that Lewinski broad in the oval office.

Jimmy Carter

Nancy Pelosi: The definitive Dracula (Bela Lugosi).

               Nancy Pelosi

Norman Schwarzkopf: The first Republican governor of California since me.

   
Norman Schwarzkopf

Al Gore: I liked “You Don’t Own Me” better than "It’s My Party”.

         Al Gore

Bill Clinton: Liked ugly broads with big asses.

    
Ugly Broad With Big Ass

Joe Gibbs: My favorite Bee Gee, hands down.

    Joe Gibbs

John Street: Great as George Jefferson.

                   John Street

Tiger Woods: Tricky Dick said she was a tiger in bed but she shouldn’t have erased those tapes.

         Tiger Woods

Dave McFarland: The spawn of Satan.

 
Spawn of Satan

Dick DeCoux: Doogie Wannabe.

 
Doogie Wannabe

Manuel Noriega: Good fielder, no power.

     No Power

Arlen Spector: Great record producer, loved his “Wall of Sound”.

  Arlen Spector

Sandra Day O'Conner: Good in the Partridge Family, great in L.A. Law.

 
Sandra Day O'Conner

David Letterman: I love 50’s acappella groups

             David Lettermen

Paris Hilton: Great room service, four star all the way.

 
Great Room Service

Prince Charles: Great piano player for a blind man.

 Price Charles

Bill Cosby: His “White Christmas” is a classic.

    Bill Cosby

Barry Bonds: He was great in “Wagon Train”.

   Barry Bonds

John Hinkley: Great newsman, I remember him with Chet Huntley.

  John Hinkley

Yasser Arafat: Bad drummer but still a Beatle.

       Yasser Arafat

Shaquille O'Neill: With that first name, no wonder they called him Tip.

Shaquille O'Neill

Ronald Reagan: With Walter Becker he held Steely Dan together for 20 years.

           Ronald Reagan

Now he belongs to the ages.

Doogie