White Owl Smoker -  a male who is: 1) loco for the cocoa, 2) unable to get off the baloney pony, 3) repulsed by Cupid’s Quiver, 4) unable to budge from the fudge, 5) putts from the rough, 6) performs midnight buggery, 7) dallies with the one-eyed nine iron, 8) rams his Peter up your Cottontail, 9) performs Boscolingus, 10) has a Brown Habit, 11) fills his Bill with One-Eyed Dill Synonyms - Backdoor Barney, semen demon, turd herder, bone smuggler, decorator, figure skater, butt poker, fa-a-fa-a-fa-a-faa fagot, Coco crammer, bosco buncher

 

Buttered Bomb Bays - smooth, yet surprisingly muscular buttocks Synonyms - Satan's Onion Ring, balloon knot

 

Withered Worthless One-eyed Trouser Trout - someone who possesses: 1) a permanently flaccid penis, 2) a giggle stick shriveling up like a bug on a frying pan, 3) a dead zipper lizard, 4) a broken Dannon Cannon Synonyms - Sly, worthless-weenied millionaire, Pasta Peckered Plutocrat, limp-dicked tick

 

Fervent Fish Fan - Someone who: 1) parts glistening meat curtains, 2) is a Big White Sausage Man, 3) gets a charge in his rope Synonyms - heterosexual

Baby Batter Blasters - Male testicles Synonyms - The Boys in the Basement, Makers of the Man Sauce, Nads

Festering Man Sauce - Booze's virus-infected sperm Synonyms - Retrovirus-laden baby batter, Hep C in Booze's #3, Rancid Ooze of Booze, Gruesome Groin Gravy, yogurt, manly mayo, DNA spray, Udder Butter

Canyon Yodeler - someone who: 1) feasts on the yeast, 2) laps leper loins, 3) eats that snatcher, 4) gushes groin gravy over another woman, 5) has loin-licking leanings Synonyms - lesbian, carpet muncher, bassmaster, fish face

 

Milk Duds - large female breasts Synonyms - fun bags, Grade-A sweater meat, luscious orbs, bodacious bra busters, real pectoral pudding, ornate oven stuffers, astonishing blouse cows, the First Rack, teat meat, Lactose Lumps

Fine Turd Cutter - shapely female butt Synonyms - great ass

 

Beret-wearing - Pertaining to the French Synonyms - frog-eating, Einhorn-shielding, Joan of Ark burning, dickweeds, bodacious backdoor Barneys

 

Anthrax Dodger - Tom Daschle

Political Candidate With the T-Rex Arm - Bob Dole

Bloated Toad - Teddy Kennedy

 

The blonde I Left in the Pond - Mary Jo Kopechne Synonyms - Teddy Kennedy babe

 

Spare the Ice Pick, Spoil the Child - to lobotomize your child to avoid political embarrassment Synonyms - Joseph Kennedy Sr.

 

First Organ - presidential penis

 

Slippery as the Center Pole at a Titty Bar - politician

 

D.F.W. - Dodgers of Foreign Wars

 

Dim-Witted, Ex-Drunk From Harvard - 43rd President of the United States Synonyms - Sly

 

Like a Fresh Cuban in a Fat Intern - a perfect fit

 

Bob Craning - to be bludgeoned to death

 

Urban Outdoorsmen - Frozen bum on the street Synonyms - bagsicle

Dipped With the Tar Brush - 1) Hispanic,  2) someone who raises urban poultry, 3) someone who, after years of audio tapes, has several verbs down cold, 4) someone who sits in front of a bodega snapping beans and attempting full sentences Synonyms - Frito Bandito, Cheggie

Jackbooting, Goose-stepping Anti-Christ - Macos Synonyms - ohm gnome, incubus, troglodyte, amp scamp, racist, reactionary, misogynous, bloated Dittohead