Macos Linked to Challenger Disaster

    By Doogie
Hog Rock Featured Columnist

Feb. 28, 2004

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Arson prone Antichrist, David McFarland has been linked to yet another tragedy. Already charged with blowing up half of North Philadelphia, “Wacos” now appears to be responsible for the Challenger space shuttle crash.

Wacos

PECO was responsible for the light bulbs on the space craft and McFarland was the last man on the ship before takeoff. NASA chairwoman, Wilma Fingerdo, has reported that surveillance cameras filmed McFarland’s last visit to the soon-to-be-doomed craft. “Macos appeared to peal the aluminum foil off the heat shields," stated Fingerdo. "He them skulked off to the corner, smeared the foil with a black resin and smoked through a disemboweled Bic pen. The cause of the crash was not O-rings as first reported, but rather the lack of reflecting foil on the heat shields," Ms. Fingerdo reported. “I have no idea what he was doing but we are sure it caused the tragedy."

Oil With the Reflecting Foil?

Interviewed in his Conshohocken home, McFarland was forthcoming but non repentant. "There was a lot of pressure -we are talking 150 watt bulbs here- and I needed a buzz. Besides what kind of pussy astronauts need a sissy heat shield? They called it the “Challenger”, not the “Sure Thing” or the “Money in the Bank”.

Declares Astronauts
A Bunch of Pussies!

Mercury program astronaut John Glenn agreed. “Spoiled pampered brats all of them.” We never had heat shields, we just turned our bare asses to the sun and took the heat. This is what you get when you molly coddle these homos and let broads on board," stated Glenn.

Deplores Molly Coddling

“What was he doing with the foil and the pen? Is he a military man this McFarland?” The answer to Mr. Glenn’s last question is complex. While his fellow Americans was defending New York from the Communists during Vietnam, McFarland was guarding pineapples in Hawaii.

Guarded Hawaiian Pineapples

There appears to be a six-month gap in his military service, however. His commanding officer in Honolulu, retired colonel Stu Pedaso, remembered McFarland well. "We didn’t see him for quite a while and we lost a lot of pineapples. He was reported to have acquired a huge drug habit which he supported by producing porn movies.” Indeed Macos is credited with the Hawaiian adult classic “Pearl Harbor-Pearl Necklace" and the black exploitation film “Honolulu Zulu”. Pearl Harbor-Pearl Necklace starred Don Ho’s sister She’s A Ho. These scandalous activities led to his dishonorable discharge and return to Phoenixville.