 Subj: |
Backdoor Score |
| Date: | 1/21/2004 2:42:38 PM |
| From: | dansommers@comcast.net (Doogie) |
| To: | TomSommers@aol.com |
|
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Dear Webmaster
The term homophobia has been tossed around wildly of late. I have decided, using my observations, to quantify the term by developing a point system. Each item is indicative of gay tendency. By adding up your sum total you can arrive at your Backdoor Score. Obviously, some items are worth more than others. Use the table below to determine Your Backdoor Score. Total your points from the questions below and then subtract any Manly Minus points to get your final total. If you don't like your score here, try More Backdoor Score.
|
If You Score |
Your Backdoor Score |
|
1-5 |
Leaning Towards Bosco |
|
6-10 |
Hop on the Retro Metro |
| 11-15 | Loco for the Cocoa |
| >15 | Adenoids Awash With Man Sauce |
Backdoor Questions
1. You play any instrument except guitar. 1 Point
2. You own a tape of Kenny G. 1 Point
3. You were upset when John Denver was killed. 1 Point
4. You think Michael Jackson is innocent. 2 Points
5. You enjoy Shakespeare. 1 Point
6. You own more than three belts. 1 Point
7. You have ever commented positively or negatively on wallpaper. 1 Point
8. You regularly attend a health club. 1 Point
9. You go on golf outings with more than two males who aren’t members of you nuclear family. 3 Points
10. You enjoy salad (add a point if you use dressing). 1 Point
11. You remember where your wedding was held. 1 Point
12. You don’t look at your niece’s tits. 2 Points
13. You enjoy the straight sex in porn movies more than the Lesbians. 1 Point
14. You have ever had a massage by another male. 1 Point
15. You eat Sushi. 1 Point
16. You use flavored ChapStick. 1 Point
17. You sat through the movie Chicago (or any other musical) 1 Point
18. You watch your carbs. 1 Point
19. You enjoy women’s gymnastics more than beach volleyball. 2 Points
20. You shave any body part below your chin. 1 Point
21. You drink light beer. 1 Point
22. You enjoy cross-country skiing. 1 Point
23. You own a deli in King of Prussia. 5 Points
24. You noticed Greg Luganis’s “package”. 2 Points
25. You have ever looked down at the adjacent urinal. 1 Point
26. You sat through “The English Patient”. 1 Point
27. You work for PECO. 5 Points
28. You have ever had a haircut that cost more than 15 dollars. 1 Point
29. You have ever owned a poodle. 2 points
30. You trim your nose hairs. 1 Point
31. You use Sweet and Low. 1 Point
32. You know what color teal or mauve is. 1 Point
33. You prefer Hearts to Poker. 1 Point
34. You dress as Santa at Christmas. 1 Point
35. You were associated with the Boy Scouts of America in any capacity. 2 Points
36. You know your mother-in-law’s birthday. 1 Point
37. You are turned off by intercourse during menstruation (she is best in bed when she sheds red). 2 Points
38. You have cried after puberty. 1 Point
39. You enjoy cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, or kiwi. 1 Point
40. You think your brother’s dick tastes funny. 1 Point
Be honest and good luck!
Don't Forget to Subtract Your Manly Minus Points
Not Happy With Your Score? Try Another Round
