2003 HOGS SOFTBALL
2003 Award Winners
MVH
Rookie of the Year
Noel McNew
Chuck Bloemer
Hogs Make Final Four!
Complete Playoff Coverage
Clutch Hit Wins Game
Noel Wins Batting Title
Final 2003 Softball Stats
Batting Champ
Hogs Finish 10-12
15th Consecutive
Season Below .500!
The regular season fizzled out with the cancellation of the Kinsey Nash double-header. Former incomplete stats are now this year's final stats. Woulda, coulda, shoulda.... Many of us were unprepared for the premature ending of this rain-filled season, especially with a great batting title race that lasted all year among the members of the Hog Squad. And of course the ROY race also had high drama coming down to the last at-bats in the last remaining games.
The post season make-up play-off schedule will be broadcast as soon as it is received. City Series here come the Hogs!! Later, Areno#14
Chuck The Tool Wins Rookie of the Year
With Chuck 'The Tool' Bloemer...sounds like plumber winning the coveted ROY crown, we went searching for the other half of the Rookie tandem for his reaction. Word was received that Coop was in Las Vegas! And for now, obvious reasons! He was located at a posh hotel and when approached by a wannabee was quoted "If I can't be Roy, I want to be Siegfried". The animal act legends are now Hogs ?? But can these feline trainers make the switch from lions to Hogs? Coop 'Siegfried' Altmiller will return from Las Vegas "after the Lions are fed" and along with 'Roy' will be getting busy tending to the Hogs during the upcoming play-offs. Thanks goes out to our Las Vegas reporters who tracked Coop down for this exclusive. Later, Areno #14
Hogs Knocking on .500 Door
It was a very busy week for the Hogs! Family, friends, co-workers and fellow Hogs celebrated Dan 'The Refrigerator' DeOrzio's 30th birthday with a surprise party at the King of Prussia Fire House. This former young gun and key member of the infamous Hog Squad is slowly turning into an old gun and the average age of the Hogs continues to creep upward. A noticeably much more mature Dan gave us this advice..."Never buy a used TV from a guy on the street who is out of breath" He obviously becomes more philosophical with old age.
Mature Hog
On the softball front, the Hogs went 2-2 this week, beating the bejesus out of Christ Church twice then losing two to Charlestown Saloon. Our record stands at 10-12 with two games remaining and a chance to make it back to .500.
Highlights: Fan appreciation week was a huge success. Stan's Clan, Mike's Tykes, Booger's Bunch and Noel's Mikey along with the usual groupies filled up the picnic area during the games and of course The Stables for our regularly scheduled post game chalk talks.
MVH Candidate
Noel is eyeing MVH as he takes over first place in the batting title race. Mike may be out for the remaining regular season games with reserve duty. Stan is one victory away from his 150th career win. That averages over an astonishing 6 wins a year! The champagne is on ice.
Over 6 Wins Per Year
Chuck Bloemer ,rhymes with plumber, displaying the five essential tools of softball has passed The Coop in the Rookie of the Year race! His nickname 'The Big Tool' as he prefers to be called may be shortened to 'The Tool' at least until Jackie follows through with her demands for a hands on inspection for verification. (Something about truth in advertising.) Anyhow, he leads the team in homers with 6. "Yeah, but they were mostly solo shots and besides I have twice as many triples, the most exciting hit in softball, as he does" said a pooped Coop at the Stables. The margin of .011 separates these two rookies' batting averages. There will be a calculator at next weeks final games monitoring each at bat. Who's Excited !!
Hogs Drive The Hammers
Out Of The League
After slamming the Hammers last week, Hank's
Hammers called it quits for the season. (perhaps forever) " We knew it was time
to go after the two losses to the Hogs." said Hank. "Losing the first game we
thought maybe was just a fluke, but being swept was a reality check." We wanted
to go out with what little dignity we had left." The double-header sweep
moved the Hogs record to 8-10.
The Hogs remaining games are scheduled as follows:
Weds. 7/23 'B' field vs. #7
Mon. 7/28 'A' field vs. #10
Weds. 7/30 'A' field vs. #2
Fri. 8/8
'B' field
Playoffs start week of 8/11 . Only the top 8 teams make the playoffs. An 8 vs. 9
play-in game will determine the #8 seed.
Reported by Areno #14 - 7/17/03
Fan Gate
Blasts Areno
A Fan Erupts !! Jackie blasts Areno after the Hogs suffer a doubleheader sweep! "You F#%king Suck !" She also demands that the Duffman returns to the lineup.
Duff Lust in the Air?
Areno, the Hogs GM and three time MVH, asked " Is that F#%k and Suck or F#%k ing Suck? Regardless, it shouldn't have taken her 24 years to figure that out."
Hogs GM Under Fire
Was it the heat? Was it the Humanity? Could it be sour grapes? Is she still festering because Fan of the Year was awarded to Mom ' Taco Party' DeOrzio last year?
Fan of the Year 2002
Could this be an isolated case of a fan crying out for help or is she a self appointed spokesperson for the silent majority of long suffering fans? All the other fans seem mesmerized by the 'Hog Magic' and continue to flock to the field and to the Stables on game night. Hog Frustration Syndrome perhaps? (But that usually affects opposing teams.) Dare I say... is there Duff Lust in the air? "The price I have to pay for the admission ticket is not worth the agony of watching this buffoonery that you call softball. What is this...the 'Z' league?" she complained." I'm worried about my grandchildren. They could suffer irreparable damages watching this team, or worse yet, what if they start emulating the Hogs thinking this is proper behavior". Is a Fan Revolt Brewing? What's next?...a video?.."Fans Gone Wild "? Areno has alerted the Hog Squad to be ready for the unexpected and to stand by for a possible 'crowd control' mode. Also, Andy, the Hogs Director of Player personnel, and architect of this next generation of Hogs, has been assigned to look into our roster problems so that we may become more fan friendly...Stay Tuned.
Hogs Get Swept by Flannigans
Drop to 6-10
After showcasing a batting clinic last week against the Hammers, the Hogs suffered a let down this week with a mediocre-at-best performance against Flannigans Last Call. Flannigans sweeps the season series 4-0. Hogs lose the first game 9-7 and rollover 11-3 in the nightcap. Hogs' record stands at 6-10. Of course there's always Hog Highligts:
The Bat is Back
Dixon is back !! ( and so is our equipment) Pat returned from the injured reserve picking up where he left off 10 weeks ago. 'The Bat' got 3 hits including a double and 2 RBI's. Our three Top Guns and Hog Squad members continue their team leading ways, but the batting title race is tightening. Mike with 2 hits, Dan and Bob with 3 hits a piece. Noel went double-less but did have a three bagger and two SACs.
Double Play Specialist
Areno had 3 doubles in a row...plays that is. Even the umpire couldn't resist heckling. Andy Hit, Run, RBI, and two put-outs at the plate! Stan two hits and two losses. Rookie update...what a combo... Coop buys shots and beers!! Chuck drinks shots and beers !! Elmer takes a Pass. Stan's Clan and Mike's Tykes fill picnic area and Stables with fans, but all is not well in fandom. Related story to follow.
Reported by Areno #14 - 7/10/03
HOT COPS IN TOP SLOTS !!
The Hog Squad
(That's easy for me to say.) Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Dubbed the 'Hog Squad' because of their chosen profession, the Hogs' Top Guns... Dan, Mike and Bob currently dominate almost every statistical category on the Hogs stat sheets. Batting Average, Runs, Hits, Homeruns, triples, RBI's, Total Bases, and OBA all have a Top Gun at the top. Granted, there's still alot of softball left in the season, and the rest of us 'outlaws' are gunning for a shootout.
The Mountain Rumbles
and the Mountain Crumbles
The Hogs split the doubleheader against the Montaineers losing the first game 12-6, then winning the second game 14-9. We enter the Hogs Open break with a 4-8 record half way through the season. The batting title race continues to take a back seat to the rookie of the year battle, however Mike and Dan each pick up 4 more hits. Mike with 3 runs, Dan with 4 runs and 5 RBIs. Noel adds two more doubles to his team leading category. Duff and Areno each with 4 hits. Spuds joins the team for his 17th season and adds another hit to his legendary stats and picks up the GWRBI.
Legend Returns For
17th Season
Stan 1 win & 1 loss with 4 K's !! (two offense and two defense) Elmer sits one out with Hogpox ailments. Andy slides into third with a crowd pleasing triple. Also he gets 3 RBI's and 4 BB's (that's 3 walks and a base-running blunder) Chuck, with a great impression of 'The Duff Man', goes yard with his first career home-run and adds 4 runs and 4 RBI's. Cooper meanwhile Triples, 3 runs, 3 RBI's and an Outfield assist. "Oh Yeah !!" says The Duff Man. Second half of the season starts 7/2.
Reported by Areno #14 - 6/24/03
Beer Nuts Leave Hogs With a Bitter Taste
Hogs lose two 16-9 and 13-11, dropping to 3-7.
Highlights: Mike on fire with 5 runs and 5 hits including double and triple. He takes the batting title lead. Looks like an Officer vs. Officer race for the batting title as Dan racks up 4 more hits and 3 RBI's.
Officers in Charge
Bob played well on 'D' as well as offense... 4 RBIs including a 2-out, game-tying hit in the bottom of the 7th of the second game (all for naught as the Nuts who took the lead in the top of the 7th win in the 8th). Base running too...as Booger thunders home from second base and scores on a single...the earth is still trembling.
Thunders Home
The rookie battle continues to sizzle as Coop and the Hickster trade on-the-field insults. Chuck 3 hits, 2RBIs. Coop triples with an RBI (but not at the same at-bat). Noel hits his 6th double as he eyes record, also 2 runs, 2 RBI's. Duff and Stan sac flies. Elmer AH with a hit. Areno 2 hits, 2 RBIs. Stands are packed with Hog Fans and they spill over to the Stables.
Reported by Areno #14 - 6/17/03
Hogpox Outbreak Strikes Hogs
Is Elmer suffering from Hogpox? Is it the combination of cold pitchers of beer and warm shots of Tequila Rose that is taking its toll on the former All-Star's stats (coupled with getting old of course)?
Hogpox Victim?
As a precaution, Areno has urged the Stables to prohibit the importation of bagged munchies and to stick exclusively to the sale of the Hot-Buttery Popcorn.
GM Prescribes Hogpox Vaccine
"My only concern is for the health and well being of our players" said Areno as he ordered more popcorn. "Building up an immunity to the Hogpox virus and getting a nutrition-packed snack should be Elmer's priority."
Another Hogpox Vaccine
The Jagermeister vaccine is also recommended as it can prevent Hogpox for up to two weeks after being exposed. But it is more effective when used regularly with large quantities of beer. We all wish "The Strawman" a quick recovery from this malady, and pray it is not contagious. Good Luck Elmer. Go Hogs !! Areno #14 GM
The Sly Fox Proves Too Cunning
It was a cagey crew of softball players that took both games from the Hogs. Hogs lost 16-9 in the first game and 10-0 in a five inning game in the nightcap. Andy, our Director of Player Personnel, (and GM wannabe) brought up another rookie from the farm system to join the Hogs as no-shows left gapping holes in the line-up.
GM Wannabe
Introducing Charles 'Chuck' Bloemer (sounds like Plumber). Cooper welcomes the competition for the battle of the Rookies honors, as high drama enters its initial stage and promises to be a great race, not unlike the exciting Police Officer vs. the Firefighter rookie contest of 2001. Highlights: Cooper had 2 runs and 2 RBIs. Chuck who chose #14 for his jersey number had a triple running on a healing broken ankle. Mike 4 hits, Areno 3 hits, Dan 3 hits, 3 RBIs. Noel 2 doubles. Andy, Stan and John 2 hits apiece.
Mendoza?
Mendoza reference surfaces for struggling all-star Hog. Since we don't dwell on the negative, his name will be PASSed over and not mentioned.
Reported by Areno #14 - 6/7/03
Hogs Split With Post
The Hogs returned to action following a couple weeks of rainouts by splitting two with VFW Post. Record now stands at 3-3. Dressed in camouflage, the VFW Post (The Hog's sister team) beat up on the Hogs in the first game 13-5. We couldn't get them in our cross-hairs. "They're blending in with the background, it's like they're invisible" Elmer said. Our defense was suspect.
Five Hits in Nightcap
The Hogs came back in the nightcap, however, and prevailed 9-8. Highlights : Bob had 5 hits including his 3rd triple of the year. Areno and Dan collected 4 hits. Andy doubled with the bases loaded picking up 3 RBIs. Cooper also with 3 RBI's and he scored from first on a single! Duff and Coop hit SAC flies. Mike records years first Outfield Assist. Stan picks up one more victory and two more hits. Noel's behavior embarrasses team... but not himself. Lynne joins Booger's Bunch as our Fan base swells. Eggs captures Hog Magic on digital camera. Pictures to follow shortly.
Reported by Areno #14 - 6/7/03
Early Last Call For Hogs
Flannigan's Last Call sweeps the Hogs in the first doubleheader of the year. The Hogs went 'Righty/Lefty' (not unlike the Drysdale-Koufax and Shilling-Johnson rotations) with Stan pitching the first game and Elmer the nightcap.
Righty/Lefty Losers
The results were very similar. We lost the first game 19-3 and the second game 15-5. We did however manage to go 6 innings in the second game. Highlights included Cooper getting the leadoff role and producing 3 hits. Dan 'The Refrigerator' has his 2003 debut with 3 Hits and 3 RBIs including a screamer over the left fielder for a Home Run. Noel also goes yard and gets 3 RBIs. Bobby blasts a triple again beyond the tree line. His son, Greg impressed with Hogs, stays awake the entire two games! Andy and John both pick up 2 Hits. Pupek fills in for the fallen Dixon and starts his season off with 2 hits. Areno returns to the Hot Corner after a 4 year hiatus, covering the 'concert-going Duff' (no...not the Moody Blues).
Reported by Areno #14 - 5/20/03
Hogs Stunned By Injury to Pat Dixon
For the second straight year the Hogs were stunned by a major injury. Last year it was Areno, this year it's Pat Dixon. The all-time leading Hog in Batting Average, Slugging Pct., and Homeruns will be out of the line-up for 6 to 8 weeks with a finger injury.
Hogs Slugger
Out for 6-8 Weeks
Pat hurt his little finger and his ring finger on his right hand in a mysterious accident. Pat claims a stone fell from the sky and landed on his hand. Noel says Pat rolled a Bobcat while loading a dump truck. (Areno thinks someone hit him in the nose.) Regardless, this leaves a gapping hole in the line-up. The Hogs will have to rally together to overcome this loss.
Hogs Peck Away at Kinsey-Nash to Go 2-0
I'm a pecker, he's a pecker, you're a pecker too !! After spotting Kensey-Nash 9 first inning runs (it was as ugly as you can imagine from your experience over the years...Hog buffoonery at its best !) the Hogs pecked away at their lead and eventually overcame this deficit and came away with a victory. We're still undefeated and in first place (2-0)
We battled back with 2 runs in the 1st, 1 in the 2nd, 2 in the 3rd, exploded for 7 in the 5th and 2 more in the 7th to beat Kensey-Nash 14-9. Highlights included but were not limited to:
4 Hits,2 Homers
Mike 4 hits including 2 Homers. Noel 2 doubles. Stan another game another double. Pat goes yard for his first HR of the year. Duff gets bloody with another slide...perhaps his last of the year. Cooper 3 RBI's including the game winner. Areno demonstrates why he has 9 Golden Gloves to his credit.
9-Time Gold Glover
Elmer stays out of the way. Andy pinch runs for Stan then immediately scores the go ahead run from first base. John 2 hits, 2 RBI's. Clark Clan cheers Pop-Pop.
Reported by Areno #14 - 5/8/03
2003 Opening Day Pictures
Hogs Win Opener, Still
Undefeated
and in First Place
Hogs come out on Top of the Mountaineers !! We win opener 13-9 and even our lifetime opening game record to 12-12. We are now in a tie for first place!
Highlights: Everyone got at least one hit. Coop debuts in fine performance. Duff slides...(feet first)... and draws first blood.
Draws First Blood
Booger triples. Stan doubles. Mr. Intangible Andy gets three put-outs at the plate. (Those intangibles that don't show up in the score book.)
Mr. Intangible
Hogs wuss it up and take 13 walks. The Clark Clan joins huge opening game fan crowd. Mom DeOrzio becomes 'The Hog Phothog.' The Stables rocks with post game celebration.
Reported by Areno #14 - 5/1/03
